2019 June: Imposter Syndrome

Week 1

  • Applied for Graduate Trainee Tutor positions.
  • Stared at my novel for an entire day without doing much to it. Got frustrated but at least I tried.
  • Decided to keep the exhibition at Tension super simple, again, and just focus on showcasing as many videos as aesthetically suitable. No new name, just The One-Woman Empathy Circus
  • Made a mind map on MindNode of things related to my PhD research, to try and gain some clarity.

Week 2

  • Read The Eyre Affair but not sure of its relevance to the research. Fun read though!
  • Started reading Of Grammatology and often get hopeless about how l don’t bloody understand anything. I’m determined to stick at it because I know it has relevance and has even indirectly sculpted all my thinking… jeez!
  • Worked on PhD GitHub repository, to have a place where I can see my current work GitHub – PhD Art Research Project

Week 3

  • Started reading Flann O’Brien’s At Swim-Two-Birds
  • Got 2 interviews for a GTT position at Goldsmiths
  • Attended first interview and it went well!

Despite my low sense of confidence and daily self criticism, it looks like things are going pretty well: I’ve still got my novel, I got a bursary for 1-2 years at Goldsmiths, I got 2 interviews for a graduate trainee tutoring position at the university, and I have my first solo show coming up.

All these successes seem to cause me worries; the pressure I suppose. I’ve tried to compose some concrete goals to address them.

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